Family history is something altogether different. It is not just about recording names, it is about understanding lives. Where those people came from, what they did, what they endured, what they achieved, and how the world they inhabited shaped the people they became. That is what makes this subject so endlessly compelling, and so deeply personal.
So if you are just starting out; welcome! You are not just building a tree. You are uncovering a story.
Start With What You Know
My own story began in 1991 with a school graphics assignment. We were asked to create a family tree chart. I asked my mum and my dad what they knew, added what I knew of my aunts, uncles and cousins, and produced something that was, by any measure, quite crude.
I still have that chart.
Quite a lot of the information turned out to be incorrect. My father's recollection of his grandparents' names, for instance, was wide of the mark. But much of it was right and more importantly, it was the beginning. Those imperfect, pencilled-in names and dates were the building blocks on which everything since has been built.
Don't wait until you know everything before you start. Start with what you have. You can correct the mistakes later and you will find plenty of them.
Begin with yourself. Record your own details; your birth, your marriage, your children and grandchildren, where you have lived, what work you have done. Then move back a generation to your parents and siblings. What do you know about them? Where were they born, where did they marry, where did they live? If they are still alive, ask them.
Still have grandparents? Ask them too. Their births, their marriages, their brothers and sisters, their parents. Work back as far as living memory will take you.
Write down the family stories, the things that have always been said, the things everyone seems to know. Our family came from Wales. My father always said that. He said it with great confidence. After decades of research, I can confirm with equal confidence that they most definitely did not come from Wales.
Family stories are fascinating precisely because they are not always what they seem. Some turn out to be entirely correct. Others contain a grain of truth that, once investigated, leads somewhere unexpected and wonderful. And some, like my family's Welsh origins, turn out to be wide of the mark entirely, though even then, the question of where that story came from is worth pursuing. Record them all. A family story however unlikely it sounds, is always a starting point worth investigating.
Cast the Net Wider
Don't stop at your immediate family. An aunt, an uncle, a cousin, a great-aunt you haven't spoken to in years - any of them might have something invaluable tucked away. A box of old photographs. A family Bible with births, marriages and deaths recorded inside the cover in faded ink. Letters, records, a discharge paper from the army. Nobody is hiding these things; they simply haven't been asked. You may be astonished by what surfaces when you start asking.
Make sure to revisit people as your research develops; older relatives in particular. A new discovery has a wonderful way of unlocking a memory that had lain dormant for decades prior.
A word of caution here. Not every family member will be interested, and not everyone will be forthcoming. An uncle who married into the family once told me, quite firmly, not to go digging around his side. I respected that, and I always will. Family history research should never be pursued at the expense of other people's boundaries or privacy.
It is worth remembering that every discovery you make potentially touches the lives of others - living people who may have very strong feelings about what is uncovered or shared. The enthusiasm that drives good genealogical research can, if unchecked, become something rather less considerate. Great Aunt Maude's reluctance to discuss certain things deserves the same respect as your grandfather's willingness to talk for hours. The stories are yours to discover but they are not always yours alone to tell.
The Living Memory You Cannot Afford to Lose
Before you turn to records, consider one more source that is irreplaceable and, unlike an archive, will not always be there - The memories of your oldest living relatives.
This is explored in much more depth in the post Preserving Living Memory: How to Capture Your Family's Story Before It's Too Late, but the short version is this: ask them. Record the conversation if they are willing and do it sooner rather than later.
Moving into the Records
Once you have gathered everything you can from living relatives, it is time to turn to the records themselves.
The temptation at this point is to open an Ancestry account, enter everything you know, and follow the green leaves. Those little hints are exciting, and within minutes you may find yourself connected to trees submitted by other researchers, full of names you recognise and dates that seem to fit.
Treat them with caution.
User-submitted trees on genealogy websites are created by people just like you. Some experienced, some just starting out, and many working without proper source verification. A name appearing on someone else's tree does not make it correct. It makes it a possibility worth investigating.
The foundation of good genealogical research is the primary source, the original record. A birth entry, a marriage register, a death record, a census return. These are the documents that tell you what was recorded at the time, by someone present or closely involved. They are not infallible however. Records contain errors, informants misremember, and registrars mishear but they are infinitely more reliable than a family tree assembled by a stranger on the internet.
It is also worth understanding that many of the documents you will obtain are copies of original records, not the originals themselves. A copy obtained from the General Register Office, for instance, is a transcription of the original entry - accurate in most cases, but not the same as the document created at the time of the event.
Before relying on any record, take a moment to understand it:
- What is it?
- When was it created?
- Why was it created?
- Who completed it?
- And what did they actually know?
These documents were not created for our genealogical benefit, they were created for administrative, legal, or religious purposes, and the information they contain reflects that. A death record tells you what the informant knew, or thought they knew, at the time of death. A census return captures a snapshot of a single night. Understanding the purpose and limitations of a record is just as important as reading what it says.
Civil registration records and census returns are the natural starting point for most researchers, but they are just the beginning. Parish registers, wills, military records, newspaper archives and much more all have a part to play as your research develops. We will explore the full range of records available, and what they can and cannot tell you, in a future post.
Before we go further, a word about expectations.
Programmes like Who Do You Think You Are? and Long Lost Family have done wonderful things for public interest in family history, but it is worth remembering that what you see on screen represents months of prior research, carefully selected for maximum dramatic impact and viewer appeal. The celebrity discovers an ancestor who fought at Waterloo, or a long lost relative turns up on the doorstep in tears.
Real family history is rarely like that, and that is not a disappointment. It is actually a relief.
The ordinary people are just as fascinating as the famous ones. The agricultural labourer who raised eight children in a two room cottage. The seamstress who somehow saved enough to emigrate. The soldier who came home and never spoke of the war again. These are the stories that make up the fabric of history, and they are no less remarkable for being unrecorded in any history book.
It is also worth being prepared for the fact that not all stories have rosy endings. Family history sometimes uncovers things that are surprising, uncomfortable, or sad. An illegitimate child. A conviction. A family that simply disappears from the records without explanation. These discoveries are part of the story too and understanding them, in the context of the time and circumstances in which they occurred, is part of what makes this work so endlessly absorbing.
When to seek help
Before engaging a professional genealogist, it is worth knowing that there is a great deal of free support available. Many local libraries, family history societies, and genealogical groups hold talks, workshops, and drop-in sessions specifically aimed at beginners. These can be an invaluable starting point, not only for practical guidance but for the companionship of others who share the same passion and the same frustrations.
When people do turn to a professional, it is usually for one of a few reasons. Some simply do not have the time or patience to do the research themselves and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Others have hit a brick wall they cannot get past, or find themselves in unfamiliar territory, researching ancestors from a county or country they know nothing about.
And then there are those who have spent years building a family tree, accumulating names and dates from other people's online research, only to find that the further back they go, the less reliable it becomes and the harder it is to find a way back to solid ground. Untangling that kind of research is painstaking work, but it is often where the most rewarding discoveries are made.
Others still reach a point where they want something more than a collection of names and dates on a chart. They want to know who these people really were. How they lived, what shaped their lives, what the world looked like through their eyes. They want that story told properly, documented thoroughly, and presented in something beautiful and lasting; a hand-bound book that can be passed down through generations and shared with family members who may never have thought to ask the question themselves.
That is where family history becomes something truly meaningful, and something worth preserving for the generations that follow.
Wherever your family history journey takes you, whether you research independently for years or decide early on to seek professional help, the most important thing is simply to begin. Start with what you know, ask the questions while you still can and remember that every name on that chart was once a living, breathing person with a story worth telling.
